um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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