Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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