I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
