Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
