Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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