As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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