I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
