hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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