I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My life is pants optional.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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