I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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