All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
