Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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