I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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