Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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