...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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