We're facebook friends in real life
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
