Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
