"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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