Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
