This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
