i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
