is your mom at the bar?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize