I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize