Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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