i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize