But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
