chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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