so explain again why im purple
no
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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