at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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