she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
