Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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