This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
