sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
