i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
