My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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