But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Randomize
