they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
send nudes
from the living room?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
