You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
