She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I don't think brook has ever known best
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
