I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
