So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
a search helicopter?!
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
