so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
