i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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