its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
