What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
