Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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