How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
