Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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