They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
