She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
