Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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