he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
