so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
