If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize