yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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