I can text with my tongue
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
