i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
