About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize