Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
