you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
