How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize