Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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