he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
