I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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