Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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