does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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