toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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