I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
