I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
